The 50 Yard Line Principle - Why we walk away just as soon as we make progress

 
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When I ask people what they are most afraid of turning into on their path to growth, they almost always respond with an caricature-like representation of the extreme opposite of who they currently are.

  • A shy, self-deprecating introvert is terrified of becoming a bombastic, self-promoting extrovert.

  • An anxious, fiscally controlling penny-pincher is terrified of becoming an idealistic, haphazard over-spender.

  • An unboundaried people-pleaser addicted to martyr syndrome is terrified of becoming selfish, unhelpful, and closed off to others.

For all of these instances, and many others like them, I bring up my 50 Yard Line Principle. It goes like this…

Let’s say you are standing in one end zone of a football field. This represents your current situation. The opposite end zone represents that exaggerated example of what you are most afraid of becoming. The 50 yard line represents the ideal happy medium that you are aiming for.

 
Diagram for the non sports fans and the visual learners out there

Diagram for the non sports fans and the visual learners out there

 

So here’s the deal…

When you decide that you’re going to leave your end zone and walk towards that ideal 50 yard line, the entire time you are walking towards your goal, you will be staring at and walking towards your deepest fear. 

The. Entire. Time.

So while you may have only walked 5 yards, and are still 45 yards away from your ideal state of being - in your mind you have been walking 5 yards towards your worst case scenario, and every single one of those steps has felt terrifying and exhausting. And so you stop, turn around, and go back.

This is why sometimes growth feels counterintuitive. It’s all a matter of perspective.

So if you have a goal…to be more confident, to worry less about money, to establish healthy boundaries, or anything else really…know that the path towards that goal may feel like you’re becoming everything you fear. But it’s just that…a feeling.

In reality, you’re probably still standing just a few yards away from your original end zone - totally safe, and still very much you.