Hell yes! Oh no…
“Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to require the most from you.”
Recently, I was in a conversation with some colleagues where we were discussing the question, “How do you know that something is a full-bodied yes?”
Some people recalled a tingling feeling, originating in their gut, that spread to the rest of their body. This viscerally euphoric feeling lets them know that whatever they are considering is absolutely the right choice.
Some people recalled an abundance of excitement and joy. This wellspring of delight and bliss unfailingly leads them towards what is meant for them.
As my peers continued sharing all of the ways in which they feel a strong “Hell yes!” inside, I became increasingly confronted with my answer to the question.
When I know that a choice or a way forward is for me, I don’t experience tingling, euphoria, excitement or joy. A booming “Yes!” doesn’t reverberate through my bones.
Rather, when I become connected to what is most aligned, everything goes still. Everything goes silent. And from the eery emptiness, two words always emerge:
”Oh no…”
Empty promises
However a full “Yes!” shows up for you, it may not lead to a path of sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns. In my experience this is not the case.
There is a romantic notion that clear inner alignment has the power to instantly banish all difficult feelings from the face of one’s own earth. This alluring myth oftentimes points the decision-maker back into a whirlwind of confused mental perseveration.
I don’t know much but here is what I know to be true…
Sometimes the most aligned way forward will lead to a quick increase in peace and ease.
Sometimes the most aligned way forward requires us to grow in new and uncomfortable ways.
Sometimes the most aligned way forward means leaving behind well-worn sources of comfort.
And sometimes, when we aren’t clear on the most aligned way forward, we need to make a few more uncertain decisions so that we can become more clear on what is - and isn’t - for us.
If only someone could tell us how to do it right, right? Then we wouldn’t have to go through all of the work to calibrate and understand our own inner compass. We could trade in our inner uncertainty for someone else’s knowing and avoid pain and discomfort altogether!
Wait a second…
Where’s my magic 8 ball?
When I hear the whispers of “Oh no…” starting to emerge, I know that whatever I’m about to move towards will require more from me.
The “Oh no…” for me is a calling to roll up my sleeves. To get ready to be messy. To prepare to be on the court.
For you, the “Hell yes!” might be a call towards the same things.
Or maybe yours looks more like “I guess?”
Whatever shape your full-bodied yes takes, don’t be alarmed if it’s followed by a swirling of different emotions. Try not to become consumed by doubt when discomfort arises.
Fairytales and self-help books may promise us that alignment equals perfection.
But, in my experience, inner alignment and full-bodied yeses often come through curious action and mindful best guesses.
Will that lead you to perfection? Likely no.
But if you’re lucky, it will lead you back to yourself.